While delicately removing each precious piece from its sock, such as this incredible feat from the hottest stars of the pipe-world, Adam Remington, I noticed a common thread tying together a great deal of my purchases: along with acquiring the work of three pipe makers with fewer than ten years combined experience, every smooth-finish pipe with the exception of one had a small amount of revealed plateau. In fact, in retrospect, it was this plateau that drew me initially to these pipes.

This is a fascination that was either previously subconscious or nonexistent, but it is now something that I wholeheartedly embrace. Being a person highly obsessed with logic, to the point that some have called me Vulcan (I assume they meant this as an insult, but I take it as the highest compliment), I started engaging in some self-reflection to determine what exactly I find so enthralling about something that, aesthetically, is nothing more than a small rough piece of wood.

For those of you who do not know the term plateau in respect to pipes, you must first look at the material from which briar pipes are made. True briar pipes are made from the root of something called a heath tree, or erica arborea, which looks like this picture to the left. It is quite a beautiful plant, but to the pipe smoking community, the real beauty is hidden below the ground. That is where the dry root of a mature, well aged heath tree rests, waiting to be found.

This buried treasure is often found in the shrub-lands, sometimes on the sides of cliffs. Once the cutters have managed to get to the plant and harvest the root, hopefully in a manner than allows the plant to continue surviving, they now have something known as the burl. This burl is then sliced into pipe-sized blocks, either called ebauchon or plateau, depending on its appearance.

Photo and Pipe by Jan Szymon

As you might imagine, the majority of these pieces are are smooth, since they come from the inside of the root, much like the majority of the pieces of a puzzle don’t have a flat side; these are the ebauchon blocks. A certain number of those pieces, however, still have the rough edge of the root surface visible. It is this visible root that is known as plateau.

In most cases, a pipe is smooth or rusticated or sandblast. There are some other options, like specialty finishes that are unique to particular companies and artisans. Sometimes, however, a smooth pipe will leave a little bit of the plateau of the briar showing. This is something, to me, that is very special and is an art-form in and of itself.

Now, I’m not a pipe maker. I’ve bought myself a pre-drilled block of briar, but it is still sitting at home waiting for me to dig in and prove to myself, once and for all, why I don’t do anything artistic. For this reason, I have no idea what exactly goes into showing off a section of plateau on an otherwise smooth pipe. To get this information, I contacted my new friend and very talented pipe maker, Steve Liskey.

“If it is intentional, it’s all about the position of the block,” Steve says. “The piece you just bought from me was unintentional, but either way it lends a form of organic style to the pipe.”

I then asked Steve about the process of cleaning the plateau up and making it flow visually into the rest of the pipe. “In truth, I don’t do anything different than a normal finish work. I just pretend it’s not there. If it is really deep, I use a small wire brush to shine it before I finish sanding the surrounding area, then I stain and buff. I try not to do anything because it tends to ruin the netual finish of it. A small wire brush is less abrasive and does a great job putting a shine on it before buffing.”

“Natural plateau looks better when its ridges and valleys are dense and somewhat deep,” Bill Shalosky says. “I remove the bark and dirt by sandblasting at low pressure. I usually do this on all blocks no matter the design. This does two things. First, it can give the option of utilizing the natural edge. Secondly, it allows me to check for any cracks or large fissures that could be hiding under the bark. When a pipe has the natural edge included I normally use the same stain for the smooth portions and plateau portions. The plateau usually absorbs the stain differently, giving it a darker appearance than the rest of the pipe.”

Throughout this piece have been some stellar examples of how an artisan can utilize plateau and not only incorporate this natural occurrence into the design of the pipe, but also use it to create a new and beautiful look.

With all of this background information, I still have not fully addressed the issue that I set out to elucidate: why do I enjoy the presence of plateau on a pipe?

There are many reasons, I suppose, but there are two primary answers to which I have returned constantly throughout this week of contemplation, though they seem contradictory: consonance and dissonance.

When an artisan takes a piece of briar featuring beautiful plateau and decides not to simply eliminate the rough and gnarled exterior, but instead decides to synthesize it into the project and work with it to find a new existence for the rugged wood, he is contriving to work in harmony with nature. Think back on the two processes described above from Bill and Steve: both men take extra care not to damage the plateau of the briar and strive to bring out its natural beauty with a gentle touch, either with a wire brush or a low-pressure sandblast. Why would they take such care to protect something that might, to some, be considered unattractive?

A pipe maker is more than a wood carver; he is someone who finds ways to enhance the elegance of nature through refining what has already been created. In order to do this properly, he or she must first grasp the artistry already found within that block of wood. Then, and only then, can the true pulchritude of the briar be brought to fruition in the form of a pipe. This is the harmony, or consonance.

A perfectly smooth and shaped pipe is a true sight to behold. I often find myself turning such a pipe in my hand, admiring the flame grain, cross grain, straight grain, and the bird’s eye. I will be in awe of the perfect form of the pipe. What am I to think, then, when I find a patch of rough and gnarled wood splotched in the middle of an otherwise flawless pipe? When Lauren saw plateau on a pipe for the first time while at the Chicago Pipe Show she thought it was an accident, an example of where the carver slipped up.

In his book, Music: An Appreciation, Roger Kamien defines dissonance as “An unstable tone combination… its tension demands an onward motion to a stable chord. Thus dissonant chords are ‘active’; traditionally they have been considered harsh and have expressed pain, grief, and conflict.” Dissonance serves several purposes: it demands movement toward stability and it increases the satisfaction of the listener once that stability is achieved — when you hear a dissonant chord, it makes the next pure chord sound all the sweeter.

To me, plateau on a pipe can also serve this purpose. While it is beautiful in its own right, as represented by the harmony aspect mentioned above, plateau also serves to make the smooth, refined area of the pipe even more visually appealing. It requires that the artist work all the more to achieve perfection on the smooth, polished area of the pipe, a demand that pipe makers are more than capable of satisfying. When done correctly, revealing plateau is one of the most beautiful aesthetic decisions possible.

Lauren and I just returned from the smoking tent, where we enjoyed great conversation and wonderful pipes. Lauren broke in a new bamboo Tokutomi that I purchased as a present for her with some McClelland Dominican Glory. This was her first time trying such a blend and she ended up enjoying it: “It tastes like pulled pork.” I’m pretty sure that that is a good thing…I think.

Before that, we had a great dinner of Chicago style pizza and classic Italian with Dustin, Nick, George (or LatakiaLover from certain forums), Adam Remington, Steve Morrisette, Brad Pohlmann, Bill Shalosky, Premal Chheda, and a couple of other great people. We had a wonderful time, despite Nick saying that the cannolis were, in fact, not cannolis. We also ended up taking home a lot of pizza and pasta (Lauren forgot hers in Dustin’s car, which I sure hope he figures out soon), but also had a really good time.

One of my favorite experiences about this show has been getting to know the people whose work I have admired and getting to know them as more than just pipe makers, but as people. This makes me enjoy admiring and owning their work even more.

[6:06 PM, 5/5/12] Up to the minute update! I just returned from the John Cotton 2012 Throwdown and I am happy announce that Dick Silverman of Chief Catoonah has been declared the victor by the three judges by a sizable margin. Fear not, I will be including a much lengthier description of the event as soon as I have a free moment.

Lane Limited’s Leonard Wortzel was chosen as the People’s Choice winner, while Steven Books took a very respectable second place.

For those of you who are interested, I will be uploading a large amount of pictures from the Chicago Show on Facebook under my “Pipe-School Ethan Brandt” profile!

[3:21 PM, 5/5/12] Today started really early, but I was excited.

I woke up around 7:30 to get ready to head down to the show room and help Dustin set up his blowfish display. I had seen pictures of the individual pipes and even seen some of them in person, but witnessing the entire collection in one place was eye-popping. Dustin had just gotten back from Walmart, where he picked up some cheap aquarium supplies, including grass and other fishbowl decorations.

After taking all of his pipes out of their bags, a drool-inducing task, I will admit, I then helped him arrange the pipes themselves. There were three other “Educational Displays” at the entrance to the show and I firmly believe that his was the most impressive. My other favorite was entirely comprised of bulldogs and rhodesians. Gorgeous!

I then ran over to help Nick and Adam Remington set up the Quality Briar table. When I asked Nick how I could help, he responded, “You’re a college kid, right? Figure this out.” He then handed me the poles for the QB sign and let me try to figure it out. It ended up taking me, Nick, and Adam to get the sign up and finished.

This was all before the show officially started.

After watching the QB table for an hour or so, I started walking the lanes, a little faster than most people so I could get a lot of pictures. What a display it was! Pipes, blocks of briar, enormous piles of incredible tobacco, and tons of smiling faces.

I quickly ran into my friends from Sweden, Martin, Anders, and Jonas. Without a moment’s hesitation, I saw that the spherical calabash was still for sale at Jonas Rosengren’s table and I snatched it up. I am really thrilled to get the chance to try it out and share this fantastic new design with all of you.

The next part of my morning basically consisted of walking around, admiring fantastic pipes, meeting people that I had greatly wanted to meet, and reconnecting with friends, some of whom I had just met the evening before. This, however, essentially sums up the entire purpose of pipe shows for those who are not directly selling pipes, and even for them, too. It is a great chance to talk, laugh, swap stories and pipes, and get to put real people to the still pictures that you have seen online. It was a real honor for me when people walked up to me and knew me by name without having ever met me. I will admit, I am distinctive looking with a ponytail and a three-piece suit, but I was still humbled.

After talking with Steve Liskey and Steve Morrisette, I found my way over to the table where Gary Schrier was sitting behind a couple piles of books. I had been wanting to pick up the new book on Scandinavian pipe makers and I also grabbed Mr. Schrier’s book on the history of the Calabash pipe. Mr. Schrier was a welcoming gent and seemed very enthusiastic about everything related to pipes, especially the continuation of writing about pipes online.

Once I had my books, I proceeded to locating my Swedish friends from the evening before and requesting that they sign the book, specifically their entry. Naturally, this included the pipe makers, but also Mr. Petersson, who is shown in the Scandinavian pipe makers book and owns around thirteen of the pipes featured therein. It really adds something to the experience of reading about a topic when you know the people involved. Thanks to this show, I now know a lot more people than I did previously!

I stopped and chatted at the SmokingPipes table and was honored to have the opportunity to speak, albeit through a translator, to Hiroyuki Tokutomi, one of the most artistic pipe makers alive. I have admired Tokutomi pipes since I first discovered online retailers and have dreamed about owning one of his pipes. Meeting him in person was something that I had never imagined, but I happily took the opportunity. Even through a translator, his humility and sense of humor were vividly apparent and I am excited about his agreeing to do an interview for Pipe School in the near future.

I once again spent a good deal of time talking with Bruce Weaver, Steve Morrisette, Martin Vollmer, and Anders Nilsson. I also got the chance to meet up with Premal and Bill from Chheda pipes and look at an Ivarsson style blowfish that I had purchased from them over a month ago but have waited to pick up until the show: I wanted to be able to shake the hands of those men responsible. Now the pipe is not only a functional piece of artwork, but one that contains the memories of the two awesome men who were involved in its creation.

I talked surfing with Jeff Gracik and bees and sustainable harvesting practices with Michael Lindner, two pipe-makers of epic skill and refreshing warmth; I spoke with Neil Flancbaum about his recovery since a bit of a medical crisis and the new lifestyle that he is living (for those of you who have not gotten to see him, he is looking fantastic and you probably couldn’t even recognize him from before).

A wonderful surprise was running into a friend that I made on Facebook whom I had never met in person before: MacKay D. James. I had been excited about the possibility of getting to meet MacKay since we first connected on Facebook, as he is another younger pipe smoker and a fantastic photographer. As is clear from the photograph to the left, he also has a killer fashion sense!

Once I finished a little chat with Kevin Godbee about an upcoming piece on Pipes Magazine, I retired my camera, temporarily at least, and wandered a little bit more. I found myself constantly returning to the tables of Adam Remington and Steve Morrisette. Both had pipes which made my heart race they were so beautiful, not to mention that they are two really fun guys to talk with. The two were of infinitely different personalities, but both are great guys and a joy to be around.

Quick pause…time for me to head back down to the tent for the Smokers’ Forum meet-up and then the Throwdown result!

[11:28 PM, 5/4/12] What do you mean that was just the “Pre-Show”?

What a day today was! You can read below about all of the incredible things that happened this morning, but things got even better tonight.

We got down to the ballroom where dinner was held and were both amazed the number of tables and the quality of the food. Though it was a buffet, it was a really great way to conclude the evening…at least, I thought it was concluding!

We were soon joined by Dustin (noticing a pattern yet?) and a couple other people that I had not yet met. One of them was Tyler Beard, a truly nice man who clearly takes great pride in his work.

After we had been eating for a couple of minutes, we were approached by a gentleman asking if he and four other gentlemen could join our table. I soon learned that they were all in Chicago from Sweden. The man who first approached us was named Mikael Petersson, a Swedish pipe collector and a self-described “rocket scientist”. He was not exaggerating, either: the antennae placed on the Webb Telescope, the successor of the Hubble Telescope, is his responsibility. A warm man with a willingness to talk about anything and everything, and I quickly became glad that we had welcomed these gentlemen to the table.

I also did not realize that two of the other men were the masterminds behind Vollmer and Nilsson Pipes. I was surprised both by how incredibly well these two men spoke English, with next to no accent, and how quiet they were. It took a little while to get more than a highly expressive facial expression out of the two of them, but once we started talking, it was a truly wonderful time. Martin and I talked for a lot of the evening, encompassing theology, politics, international relations, and, of course, pipes.

Once dinner was finished, along with three bottles of good red wine, courtesy of Mr. Petersson, we headed to the smoking tent to listen to Kevin Godbee, Editor-in-Chief of Pipes Magazine, give a speech about the state of the pipe hobby, or what he also called “Ask Not What the Pipe Hobby Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For the Pipe Hobby”.

Mr. Godbee covered a wide variety of topics, including pipe clubs and the proliferation of pipes among the younger generation. Everything that he discussed had a common thread, however: ensuring that the proud and wonderful tradition of pipe smoking and designing continues for years to come. I think that we can all agree that that is a noble goal, and Kevin outlined a number of ideas of helping that goal succeed.

The rest of the evening was very informal, consisting of my trying out the first of the three contestants of the Throwdown, “X”. I found it a very light and enjoyable English with a pleasant aroma. Sadly, I do not have the original blend to compare it to, but I did enjoy it. The rest of the time was great conversation, a gin and tonic or two, and good friends. I know that Lauren and I had a wonderful time (she was the center of attention, which comes as no surprise) and we are both looking forward to tomorrow.

[6:28 PM, 5/4/12] Ah, a nap makes everything better. After catching lunch with Dustin and Gunner, another awesome pipe maker, Lauren and I came back to catch some shut eye.

A funny coincidence actually occurred at lunch, where we with discussing secret Santa events on pipe forums and it turns out Gunner was my secret Santa. He sent me this incredible bamboo poker corncob. It is the coolest corncob that I own and the knowledge that he made it has made it an even more treasured part of my collection.

Lauren spent the early afternoon getting a massage and I wandered the tent during the Show and Swap, taking pictures and looking at some beautiful pipes. There was this one calabash system by a new Danish pipe maker that I had never seen before. I hope to be able to come home with one to show you all.

I also got to meet some more people for the first time: Rad Davis, Mike, from Briar Blues, Bobby N., from Two Friends Pipes, and many more.

Now, we’re getting all dolled up for the Welcome Dinner in just a couple of minutes. I will add photos of today’s fun later tonight!

[11:25 AM, 5/4/12] I just got back from what was formerly known as the “Pre-Show”.

Now, it is known as the Smoke and Swap. Basically what this is a chance for a lot of people to rent out half tables and try to get excitement up about their product.Frankly, there doesn’t appear to be a ton of buying going on at this point, but rather a lot of people browsing, chatting, and reconnecting.

One of the first things that I did was I snagged myself a sample pack of the Throwdown blends, which I will be sampling tonight at dinner. What has two thumbs and is super excited? This guy!

I got to meet Bruce Weaver for the first time, after talking with him on the phone and sending numerous emails. He greeted me like an old friend, with a big smile and a strong handshake; despite having never meeting him in person, I really did feel like we were old friends and I was glad that we were! He talked about his daughter and shared stories about Adam Remington, whose table was right next to his.

For now, Lauren and I are going to be taking it easy until lunch with Dustin and then dinner. Lauren just made an appointment at the spa and we are going to wander around and explore this fantastic resort. More later!

[1:23 AM, 5/4/12] When we got down to the tent, there were a lot more people there than I expected, especially considering it was nearly 11 PM on the night before the day before the actual show.

The first person I ran into was Dustin B., a bear of a man whose smile is utterly infectious. He gave both me and Lauren hugs (not in that order, I might note!) and handed me a gorgeous pipe by M. Revyagin. Less than two minutes through the door and I’m already drooling.

The incredible display of pipes did not stop there, as I quickly met Adam Remington and Michail Revyagin, both of whom had a plethora of fantastic pipes displayed. For example, this photo to the right shows some of the offerings from Steve Liskey. He is relatively new in the pipe world, but shows both amazing craftsmanship and innovation. This, combined with being a cool guy, puts him very high in my book. Take a look at the bamboo work on those pipes at the top left. Superb!

As soon as I settled down, I was literally pulled up by my ponytail (I know Eric will have a ball with this fact) by Adam Davidson. We had a fun chat and I admired a number of his pipes, including a bamboo acorn that will be coming home with me!

I spent the rest of the evening making the rounds of tables, talking with Alex Florov, Brad Pohlmann, and of course, Nick. It only really occurred to me on the drive up to Chicago that this was the first time I met Nick, despite working closely with him and talking to him on the phone quite often. He’s a really cool guy who likes to be honest about what he thinks and have a good time. These are pretty much the same impressions I got of Nick when I first spoke to him on the phone, and I found the fact that he was the same guy in person as he was on the phone to be refreshing.

Lauren spent a lot of the time talking to Steve Morrisette about everything from the value of loving what you do to explosives to cats. Frankly, a lot of the talk was about cats. I had never gotten the chance to speak with Steve before, not even via email, and I am pleased to say that he is one of the nicest, most intelligent gentlemen that I have had the pleasure to meet.

I will be writing more on this at a later point in time, but it is time to get some shut eye. The fun starts all over again tomorrow in just a couple of hours!

[10:37 PM, 5/3/12] And…we’re here! After about five hours of sitting in rush hour traffic and avoiding toll booths, we have arrived at the Pheasant Run Resort. I have to say, this place is fantastic: great rooms, two pools, a spa, bar, and restaurant. It even has a gold course, if you’re into that! I managed to catch glimpse of the area where the show will be held and let’s just say that I am psyched! Oh, and on the elevator ride up to the room, I randomly ran into Peter Heeschen. Yeah, this trip is starting nicely!

Well, we’re getting cleaned up a little and heading down to the smoking tent to meet up with Dustin B., Nick Miller, and Adam Davidson.  I’m sure we’ll run into other awesome people while done there. Check in soon!

[11:10 AM, 5/3/12] Fine. I’ll admit it. I’m too damned excited about going to Chicago today to think of anything clever for a title. Sue me. (For any lawyers out there, please do not actually find a way to sue me. Much appreciated.)

So, Lauren and I will be leaving for Chicago later today, set to arrive at the hotel around 9PM.

Since I have already written a post describing some of the events that I am looking forward to, I won’t repeat that here. Instead, I plan on trying something a little new to keep all of you up to date about the what is happening at the show.

As often as possible, I am going to update this piece with photos and little blurbs, whatever I have time for. Some will be better thought out than others, I am sure. However, I will always post the most recent events at the top with a time stamp. It will kind of be like when news websites are covering a big breaking story and are constantly adding to the piece. So, if you keep checking back to this entry, you find more information about our time at the show and the awesome things that are happening.

Expect a much longer and more thorough summary after I return. See you soon!

Late in November of  2011, Michael Ziff (aka dusty-z on SF) contacted me asking if I was doing commissions.

I actually love doing commissions, especially with customers who know what they want, but at the same time leave me some freedom to go with the inspiration of the moment. A lot of e-mails went back and forth before Michael and I finally decided on the shape and finish. We had a go!

It was just a matter of when I could start. At the time, specifically during December and January, I was solely dedicated to making the Pipe of the Year for Pipaforo, the Spanish pipe forum. After that there were several commissions waiting to get started.

By the end of December, I felt like doing something other than all those identical pipes, so I began on Michael’s commission. After the pipe was shaped and drilled, I took a picture of it and send it over to Michael. He was satisfied so far. I took the piece to the blasting cabinet and during the third blasting session a little hole appeared on the upper part of the shank. I had reached the smoke channel. (Insert sad Dirk face here) Naturally, this was an upsetting occurrence.

Because of the time pressure to get those 57 Pipes of the Year done, Michael and I agree that I would give his pipe a second try by the end of January. When the time came, I decided to make two versions of the same pipe, with some minor differences in coloring and the material for the shank, thus giving Michael the luxury of choice.

The two pipes came out wonderful, with no extra air holes this time. After some consideration, Michael opted for the “Tête Jaune Cache”. Both this pipe and its twin, the “Yukon”, were named after locations in western Canada, Michael’s country. My girlfriend and I visited both of these places in 2004 during our bicycle trip through the Americas.

At the time when I began with the first attempt on the pipe in December, Michael had started a thread about our cooperation on Smokers’ Forum’s Common Sewers. Now, with the pipe completed and his selection made, he could present the final result.

All right, class. I will be your substitute teacher today, as your regular teacher is out with what we call the “Monday Blues”. Someone needs to call the CDC, because that seems to be an epidemic. Anyway, my name is Ethan and I will be leading class today.

Now, I know that you have recently been discussing the particle theory of light, but we are going to discuss something far more interesting, and certainly more relevant: pipes!

I am sure you are all wondering the same thing right now: But, Ethan, how would I choose my first pipe? Well, class, I am going to help you make that all important decision.

The first choice you really have to make is what type of pipe you will purchase, and you have three primary choices: briar, meerschaum, or a corncob.

First let me state that you cannot make a wrong choice in this department. There are those who insist that a new pipe smoker should always get a briar or always get a corncob, and most of those same people will say that a meerschaum should never be one’s first pipe. I disagree on all of these counts and let me tell you why.

You are picking up a pipe for pleasure, to make yourself happy. All three of these mediums for pipes create cool, quality, delicious smokes and each one can lead to a successful first experience with pipes. For this reason, you should choose whatever style pipe makes you happy.

Now, let’s go through your choices one by one. You’ve just walked into your local tobacconist, after managing to find one, and you spy a pearly white dragon claw holding an egg; the thought of seeing smoke drifting out of that egg, as if a newly hatched dragon had recently crawled off, is simply too much for you to resist. And who could blame you?

There is one all important thing to remember when selecting a meerschaum pipe: make sure is it block meerschaum. What this means is that the pipe was carved from a solid piece of meerschaum and not from scraps, known as pressed meerschaum.

Sometimes this can be difficult to do when buy from a physical tobacconist. So, you have a couple of choices: buy online from a reliable retailer who tells you that it is block meerschaum or try to make this determination while at a tobacconist. You can do this by buying well-known brands, such as IMP, or simply looking at the price: if it is over $50, it is probably block meerschaum. Other than that rule, pick whatever design and size makes you happy.

Some people object to using meerschaum pipes for first pipes because they are ‘more difficult’. I disagree entirely. While it is true that meerschaum is a more fragile material, it is simpler in a number of ways: you don’t have to worry about correctly forming a cake, as you in fact don’t want to form any cake, and you can smoke as much out of it a day as you want. This is much simpler than briar, which has a number of rules that it is suggested one follow. Therefore, this complaint against meerschaum is invalid.

What about the corncob? Some people swear by the value of a corncob as a starter pipe, and it is easy to see why. They are cheap, durable, require next to no work on the part of the pipester, and provide delicious, cool smokes consistently. You can pick up a good Missouri Meerschaum for less that $10 and be off and running!

So, where’s the downside? The downside, as far as I can tell, is purely visual. While the point of the pipe is not always its appearance, it is important for someone who is starting off with a pipe to feel confident and enjoy his new-found hobby. Corncobs, though wonderful, give off the impression of a farmer or a country gentleman, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it might not be the image that a city-slicker or college student wants to have.

That being said, a pipe is designed to make you happy, not to appease those around you so that you can fit into a particular stereotype. If you are a corporate executive in New York City and you want to smoke a corncob for your first pipe, then you should smoke a corncob. It’s as simple as that.

Finally, we reach the briar. For as many advocates as there are for corncobs as a starter pipe, there are scores more for briar. After all, it is the predominant medium for pipes, the classic image of a pipe, so why not get comfortable with it early on? Of course, there are more rules to be followed with a briar than with a cob or a meerschaum, but that ritual is part of the beauty of pipes.

There are some important things to consider when choosing that fine wooden pipe, however. A number of older articles have been written about how to pick out a pipe shape that best compliments your facial structure and body shape, and that that is the pipe shape that you should buy. These rules included bigger pipes for bigger people, smaller pipes for smaller people, slender pipes for slender people, etc. While this may geometrically have some validity, it is the least important thing that one should be thinking about when picking out a pipe.

If you are a short, rotund person and you see a tall billiard that makes you drool, then that is the pipe you should snag. Don’t second guess yourself by being concerned about whether “this pipe will make me look fat”. Your trip the the tobacconist is not for a shirt or tie or pants, it is for a pipe, for something strictly for yourself. Find one that makes you happy — is this mantra sounding familiar yet, class?

While your happiness is key, there is one rule that I suggest in order to ensure that happiness: avoid the bargain bin or “basket pipes”. While these pipes can be good knock-around pipes, there are not what you want to start with. Go ahead and drop fifty to sixty on your first pipe.

What was that? Yes, you in the back row. Ah, good question. I don’t know if everyone heard him, but he asked why he should spend that much money on something he might not end up enjoying. Well, it’s kind of hedging your bets. If you only spend $15 on a briar pipe, the chances are you won’t enjoy it: it will probably burn hot, taste awful, gurgle, and be difficult to keep lit. While it is not impossible to find a basket pipe that smokes very well, you simply increase your chances of finding a pipe that smokes well by crossing the fifty dollar mark. That extra forty or fifty dollars will help to ensure you are quality smoke and enhance the probability that you will enjoy your pipe. Don’t bet against yourself by going cheap.

All right, now that we’ve picked out our first pipe, it’s time to move to tobacco –

BRIIIIIIIIIIING

Oh, that’s the end of class, everyone. If I get to teach you all again, we will pick up on the subject of pipe tobacco next time. In the mean time, go home and do your homework! And enjoy yourself!

One passion of mine is exercise. I’m big on eating healthily and staying in shape as much as I can. I know that a lot of people out there in the pipe world are equally interested in maintaining a healthy lifestyle but often consider themselves too busy to do so, and it is for this reason that I share my story.

When I was thirteen, I started working out with a personal trainer so that I could learn how to safely and efficiently exercise. When the later half of high-school and the first part of college rolled around, however, I found myself unable to keep that up. I stopped working out almost entirely. While this did not have a huge negative effect on me in any visible way, I felt it: I missed working out and the energy and sense of well-being that it brought.

Then, in the Summer of 2011, I wrote my old personal trainer to ask him to help me put together a workout program for myself. In response, he suggested that I check out something called P90X. He expected that I had probably seen infomercials about it — I had not — but suggested that I check it out and give it some serious thought.

Within a week, I purchased the program and started testing it out.

Before I go any further, allow me to say that I am not affiliated with the P90X company, Beachbody, in any way and I am not receiving any form of compensation. Blah, blah, blah, legal stuff.

Now, for those of you who are not familiar, P90X is short for Power 90 Extreme, which is a 90-day, home-fitness program. It has three phases and relies on something known as muscle confusion. While there is debate as to the validity of the concept of muscle confusion, what it practically means in the P90X program is that the three phases target your muscles in different ways, something which is nearly universally agreed upon to be a good thing. Changing your program every week: bad. Changing it every now and then: good.

One of the major advantages of the program is that it does not require you to go to the gym. The minimum required equipment is exercise bands, about a forty dollar expenditure. I use a lot more equipment than this (weights, medicine balls, stability ball, etc.), but that is the minimum required.

It also doesn’t take a lot of time. The routines average about an hour a day, six days a week. Now, that might sound like a long time with such a busy schedule, but when you consider the amount of time you normally spend getting to the gym, changing, waiting for machines to becomes available, etc., you end up saving a lot of time. You also speed up your progress by reducing your waiting time, both as a result of doing it at home and having the guide on the DVD. Most people take very long breaks between exercises at the gym, while P90X keeps you on track.

It isn’t all weightlifting, either. Three days a week, you do resistance exercises, while the other three involve kenpo (karate), yoga, and plyometrics (jumping exercises). These three will help get you into shape in different ways, by burning calories and stretching and strengthening the muscles. Just as a point of reference, I burn over 700 calories in the forty minutes of active working out during the Plyometrics program.

One of the other advantages is that every single move has a “modification” for those who are either exhausted or have previous injuries. In leg exercises, for example, there is also showing you how to remove the impact from your knee, so you can still get a good workout despite any injuries.

I’m not going to lie, this program is extreme. I have finished my first round of P90X and am currently on the last month of P90X2. If you work at it, though, this program is very successful. I have gained strength (going from 25lbs to 52lbs on some of my back exercises), regained my energy, and feel a lot better. Don’t worry, I’m not going to show before and after pictures!

I cannot recommend this program highly enough. Beachbody, the company behind P90X, does make other programs that are slightly less intense and, I have heard, are still very successful.

If anyone out there has tried this program or any other similar ones (I am starting Insanity within a month), please share your story.

Be well and pipe-related writing will return in a couple of days!

The Chicago Pipe Show, of course!

For those of you who have never been to a Chicago Pipe Show — oh, wait, that’s me! — the show is put on by the Chicagoland Pipe Collectors Club. According to its website, the club “started in 1993 with a small group of pipe smokers meeting at local lounges and restaurants for companionship and trading information and ideas about the hobby of pipe collecting. Over time we established meeting venues where we could display our pipes and other smoking items and buy, sell and swap from each other. Oh, and smoke together for an evening. Our first ‘Chicago Show’ was held in 1996 and has steadily grown to one of the largest hobby shows of it’s type in the world.”

In the sixteen years since the start of the Chicago Pipe Show, it has made an incredible name for itself, featuring over 300 different exhibitor tables, lots of different events and speakers, and one of the most incredible assembly of pipes in one place in the entire world. If you can dream it, it is either there or has not been invented yet. (If it is the latter, I would just contact Stephen Downie and he can make it happen!)

One of the events that will be occurring this year is the second generation of the tobacco Throwdown. For those of you who might not know, the purpose of the 2011 Throwdown was to recreate, as closely as possible, one of the most revered blends in the history of pipes: Balkan Sobranie. A lot of the awe that is inspired from this blend comes from the fact that it is no longer produced and will run you hundreds of dollars on the low end to get your hands on. Thanks to the 2011 Throwdown, however, three incredible replications were created.

This year, the blenders are tackling another highly esteemed blend, albeit not quite to the same extent as Balkan Sobranie: John Cotton’s Nos. 1 & 2 Medium.

Three contestants will enter this Arena of Blood and ‘Baccy and only one will leave alive! … Okay, all three will probably leave alive, but only one will leave victorious! … Okay, two will actually leave victorious, as there is both a Judge’s Choice and a People’s Choice (Hearth & Home’s Black House taking the Judge’s vote last year, while McClelland’s Blue Mountain took home the People’s Choice).

The contestants this year will be Dick Silverman of Chief Catoonah, Lane Limited’s Leonard Wortzel, and Steven Books of the House of Calabash. These brave men who have accepted the epic challenge have each been furnished with samples of the 28 year old blend and are left to their own devices as to how they choose to replicate it. If last year’s competition is any indication, the methods will range wildly and result in unique and fantastic creations.

Recently, Mr. Silverman of Chief Catoonah posted on a pipe forum about his experience with this challenge. Due to the fact that the challenge is ongoing, he was not able to post in extreme detail, but he was able to give a bit of insight into the difficulties presented by such a competition: “The challenge of trying to recreate the taste, look, aroma and overall smoking qualities of a 30+ year old, no longer available blend, is daunting.

I received my 14 gram sample, about 5 bowls worth, on March 11. As I had to have 3 pounds of my submission at the Seattle Pipe Club by April 3, I felt that I only had 15 days to create my submission and get it in the mail. So, the timeline was also a challenge. It typically takes me at least three months to create a new blend; many times, much longer than that.

Generally I have about 20 natural componets on hand. There was no time to add any new ones. So I used what I had.

I also made sure I had a good supply of Carr’s Table Water Crackers to cleanse my palate and lots of pipe cleaners to keep my testing pipes totally clean and free from residue from prior smokes. For the two week period, I avoided spicey foods, no pizzas with pepperoni or anchovies, no hot soups. I really took care of my palate.

While there may be those who feel such an effort is kind of Futile, Arrogant, Ridiculous, Tomfoolery, I had fun developing my submission. And during my process, I came up with one or two, new to me, potential blends to be developed on a more normal time schedule.”

To create a replica of a blend from only five bowls, one of which might be reserved for analyzing its content visually, requires devotion, time, and incredible amounts of skill. No matter how this year’s Throwdown turns out, I know that the pipe world as a whole will be the richer for it: not only will we be graced three new blends, but the skills of some of the best blenders of our time will be put on display and they will be able to have their moment in the limelight, instead of already just being the people behind the blend.

This is just one of the many events and displays that will be at the Chicago Pipe Show, not counting all of the artisans who will be displaying their work and chatting up a storm. A good friend of mine, Dustin Babitzke, will bringing his collection of over 80 blowfish pipes to put on display. I am very exited to see the whole aquarium together at last!

More than anything, though, according to Nick Miller, Adam Davidson, Bruce Weaver, and pretty much everyone else involved in pipes with whom I have spoken, one of the best parts of the pipe show is being able to hang out with so many like minded people, relax, and talk. The social aspect of the show is perhaps even more rewarding than anything else and it is something to which I am greatly looking forward.

I hope to meet a lot of you at the show. I will be probably hanging out around the Quality Briar table and walking around with a pretty redhead, so, if you see me, please flag me down and say hello.

See you in Chicago!

There is a national project out there known as StoryCorps. The basic premise is that people are encouraged to have a conversation with one of their friends or family members about that person’s life, have the story recorded, and then store the recording in the Library of Congress. The aim of this project is to “remind one another of our shared humanity, strengthen and build the connections between people, teach the value of listening,and weave into the fabric of our culture the understanding that every life matters. At the same time, we will create an invaluable archive of American voices and wisdom for future generations.”

I think this is an admirable goal, as there are too many voices and stories that go unheard or are too easily forgotten.

To that end, I would like to create a miniature version of StoryCorps, aimed specifically at pipe smokers. While I do not currently have the resources to have these stories recorded in audio, the written word has always served us well, so we can start there.

Here’s the idea: In the comments section on this particular blog entry, share with us how you got started smoking a pipe.

You can learn a lot about someone by looking at his pipe of choice. An old, beaten up corncob gives off a very different vibe than a flawless, recently polished, Danish freehand. I am not asserting that one is better than another, but it is telling.

“Catherine Sakai: Ambassador! While I was out there, I saw something. What was it?

G’Kar: [points to a flower with a bug crawling on it] What is this?

Catherine Sakai: An ant. So much gets shipped up from Earth on commercial transports it’s hard to keep them out.

G’Kar: Yes, I have just picked it up on the tip of my glove. If I put it down again, and it asks another ant, “what was that?”, [laughs]  how would it explain? There are things in the universe billions of years older than either of our races. They’re vast, timeless, and if they’re aware of us at all, it is as little more than ants, and we have as much chance of communicating with them as an ant has with us. We know, we’ve tried, and we’ve learned that we can either stay out from underfoot or be stepped on.

Catherine Sakai: That’s it? That’s all you know?

G’Kar: Yes, they are a mystery. And I am both terrified and reassured to know that there are still wonders in the universe, that we have not yet explained everything. Whatever they are, Miss Sakai, they walk near Sigma 957, and they must walk there alone.”

It was a slow evening at the pub. Through the blue and grey smoke diffusing through the room, I smelled something familiar. It smelled like my music teacher’s leather jacket; it smelled like his trumpet and my piano and avoiding my lessons.

Four, college age men sat at a table and one of them was holding a long, clay pipe. Like some sort of mystic ceremony, they passed it around the table, taking a puff, savoring the flavor, and passing it to the next.

Within a week, I found myself at a small, old tobacconist with a statue of an Indian chief standing on a block with the word “TOBAK” written on it. I remember circling the tourist area a number of times before I even worked up the courage to park. It took me even more time to walk inside.

I was completely out of my element. Large glass jars were filled with different types of tobacco, all of which looked so similar, aside from the one in a porcelain jar with a portrait of a Middle Eastern man painted on it; I later discovered that this was the one English tobacco that the establishment offered.

I am sure that I lingered too long in my attempt to blend into the woodwork, but I eventually asked to purchase the same pipe that the guys at the pub had been smoking. I work at a Renaissance Faire during the summers – yes, I’m lame like that – and I justified the purchase to myself by thinking that, if I didn’t take to the pipe, I could at least use the clay one as a prop.

I remember taking the long box that contained the pipe and my two plastic bags full of bulk tobacco back to my dorm room and hiding them in the bottom drawer of my desk. I wasn’t hiding it from my roommate, since I didn’t have a roommate. Perhaps I was hiding it from the memories of my parents telling me how evil tobacco is. What I could not hide, however, was my excitement: a slight feeling of butterflies in my stomach, smiling like an idiot, and anticipating my first experience.

To say it was not the best of experiences might be an understatement, and, much like most bad first-pipe-experiences, it was entirely my fault. I was trying to use flimsy matches to light a pipe that was poorly packed and around a foot-and-a-half long on a cold, windy night, while perched on a ledge of a dormitory building. I think it might have been easier if I had been trying to juggle eight rabid pit bulls while trying to light my pipe.

Eventually, however, I got my pipe lit. I liked it. I lit it again – not too surprisingly, my pipe went out continuously – and I liked it even more. Every time I lit my pipe, I burned away my hesitance and realized that this was going to be a passion. I had been baptized by fire.

As I mentioned earlier, I worked at a Renaissance Faire at the time and took my pipe with me on show days. For the most part, I was just able to use it as a prob, but I was occasionally able to steal a puff or two. It was fun to be able to combine part of my regular life with my participation at the faire.

One day, as I was doing an improv routine with one of my friends at the Renaissance Faire, my pipe stem broke. It was tragic, but not overly surprising, since it was, in fact, a tavern pipe. Tavern pipes were intended to be shared by patrons at a pub, with the tip of the pipe broken off after each use for sanitary purposes.

It broke my heart to see my very first pipe split in half, despite the fact that its new size was much more manageable.

That was about two years ago.

About two weeks ago, I saw something that caught my eye, tugging on my memory as insistently as a child on his mother’s arm.

Many of you are probably familiar with the cutty shape. It is a shape with a long history, inspired by the traditional, clay tavern pipes.

I had seen many cutty pipes and found them intriguing, but none of them did it for me quite the same way as this one.

This rendition, carved by Chris Askwith in England, reminded me exactly of my first pipe. It is almost 11 inches long and is made almost entirely out of a single piece of briar, adding the material of the mouth-piece only at the very end. This continuous nature of the briar mirrors the use of a single material for both the bowl and stem and mouthpiece of the clay tavern pipes.

Another aspect of the old-school tavern pipes that Mr. Askwith managed to capture is the foot beneath the bowl of the pipe. You see that little nob that the pipe is standing on in the picture above? That’s called the foot and was used to hang up the tavern pipes after each use in the pub. While there are many uses for this foot, also called the heel or spur, depending on its shape, the origin of the tradition is debated and still very unclear. Many postulate that it is a result of the molding process, which seems logical, and it is also practically useful to be used as a pipe rest or a place to hold the pipe without getting burnt. Whatever the origin, the detail is a recognizable trademark of the shape that Chris captured beautifully.

I managed to ask Mr. Askwith about this particular pipe and how it came to be: “The idea from the pipe was kind of an accident and experiment, really. My lathe is only capable of making a certain length shank, something around three and a half inches. Because of the cant of the bowl when making this kind of shape, however, I noticed I could extend that length a little.

“Some careful measurements later and a good look through my briar stock and I found a block long enough to try this out. I also had to do a little disassembling of the lathe to squeeze it in. Actually, making the pipe certainly was a challenge, dealing with a six inch long shank just ten millimeters thick was a lesson in spacial awareness — just manouvering it around the sanding disc was hard enough. To add to the mix, I then had to be very careful not to damage the little foot which always seemed to be in the way when I was sanding.

“I can honestly say I have never sweated so much when making a pipe. At every stage there was danger of doing irreparable damage as there was absolutely no room for error on a classic shape such as this. That being said, however, I have also never felt such elation when I finished the final waxing and was able to take in the finished piece. I am very proud of it.”

This pipe is a pleasure to hold and smoke on any account, but the similarity between it and my very first pipe is something transcendental.

For a while after ordering this pipe, I was convinced that the cutty will become one of my go-to shapes. Once I got to hold and see this one, though, I realized that there was no need: I have found the perfect cutty.